s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g

Today I went to a spelling bee. Or is it “spelling b”? Or “spelling be”? I guess I wouldn’t have qualified for it. Anway, it was about one of the most chaotic events and certainly the most chaotic “bee” I’ve ever attended. We crammed 8 schools and their cheering sections into a hall where the chatter bounced off the concrete walls and was amplified by the tin roof. The noise was such that it was impossible to hear anything happening on stage despite the loud speakers, which crackled and hummed often enough to entirely conceal anything that was said. When the speakers blew midway through the contest, it was actually a relief. We used the scoreboard (a man furiously writing in chalk and erasing as the contestants got answers right or wrong) as our only real cue for what was happening. The noise was almost intolerable, but the heat was literally intolerable. We sat their fanning ourselves in vain and dripping with so much sweat, that at one point we ran out of it. It was so hot in there that my friend Adam actually noticed his palms start wrinkling. That’s hot! But we suffer for the children.

But there was plenty redeeming (at least journal worthy) about the bee. There were 2 teams on stage at a time each with 4 contestants and 2 alternates, all dressed in their brightly colored school uniforms full of nerves and excitement and embarrassed pride. And the teachers took the contest at least as seriously as the students. The moderator showed the children no sympathy, and when the kids answered incorrectly, he would either say “no way” or shake his head with a cocky smirk saying “I can’t accept that”. At one point a kid was part way through butchering the spelling of “Sierra Leone” and he just cut her off, saying “save your breath.” Wow! This is kind of shocking coming from the land where (I’ve been told) that in is now verboten to correct papers in red pen - because red is too stigmatizing. Kids here have to have resilient egos, and many of them really do.

Every contest started with each team introducing themselves. They had clearly memorized these little speeches of introduction, and some of them said things like, “My name is Princess Johnson, but for the convenience of the audience you can call me Academic Queen.” The kids also took this opportunity to taunt the other team saying in practiced unison, “we will destroy, defeat and demobilize you.” Yes. They said “demobilize”. Oh, and half way through each match the competitors stood up from their seats and switched sides of the room. I asked the teacher next to me why they were doing that, and he told me (as if it weren’t totally obvious) “because it is half time” That shut me up.

Our school participated in the last of the 4 contests, and I have to admit it was worth the wait. The first 3 matches were blow-outs with the winning schools taking it by 50 point margins, so I didn’t have high hopes for our match. But ours had all the components of a great contest. We are kind of the rag tag school of kids who can least afford an education, so we had the appeal of the underdog going for us. We opened with a 40 point lead, due mostly to our superstar speller who had all the charisma and confidence of a true champion. He was easily the most fun of all the kids to watch because, whereas most of the kids spoke slowly and apprehensively, he darted out of his seat and pluckily spelled each word so quickly that even the judges raised their eyebrows. But the other school had some contenders too and the lead quickly narrowed to 10 points and remained there for the rest of the contest. At the end the score was 180 to 180 and the last turn was ours, so we all primed ourselves for some serious cheering. But two of our contestants stood to answer at the same time, and before we knew what was happening the judges docked us 5 points and gave the opposing team an opportunity to spell the word. They did so correctly and the audience (the wrong side) erupted in unexpected glee. Our teachers all rushed the stage waving the rule books and crying “unfair.” Our champion was downright despondent and we were all stunned.

It wasn’t exactly the Rumble in the Jungle, but this may very well go down as the Great Bee Upset of ’06. And I can say, I was there.