normalcy

After 3 months here, it's really funny to notice that those things that were once extraordinary have now become mundane. Sights I once considered shocking or just cool I now barely even notice. As I traveled to Accra yesterday, I took no real notice of the women balancing piles of fruit on their heads while simultaneously dodging traffic and making change in time for bus passenger customers before the red light change – something that once seemed an incredible feat of agility. I had come to expect that my busload of people would be entertained by a vagabond preacher on the ride, and easily tuned him out. The ubiquitous condom ad - "It's on, or it's not in!" didn't even make me chuckle. Well, maybe a little. All the color and commotion of street life is no longer something I marvel at, it's just the backdrop of life. Until I notice that I'm not noticing it, and then try to take notice. Does that make sense?

Every morning, I walk unphased past children taking naked bucket showers, and I barely notice the kids unselfconsciously peeing in the street. I’m no longer appalled by the garbage that carpets so many of the pathways. When strange children come running up for hugs, I unthinkingly pat them on the head and give them a little squeeze barely pausing my conversation. All day long I have conversations in Liberian English, that would have at one time been incomprehensible to me. And I forget to appreciate this too. I’m no longer so outraged by the inanities of the school, and test questions like “What is a verb? a) and action word b) a human being or c) a bottle of coke” no longer irritate me, though maybe they should. I’m amazed by how easily a sense of normalcy sets in even in the most bizarre situations.

A lot of volunteers seem to take pride in the nonchalance that comes with having become accustomed to their new surroundings and find a kind of superior irritation at newcomers’ naivety. I have to admit it does feel kind of cool to know the ropes here. But more that than, I’m really nostalgic for that wide-eyed stage where everything is fresh and fascinating. I miss that natural fascination and wonderment at things that I now have to remind myself are remarkable. I suppose that’s why people keep moving around in life.

That said, there are some things that will never stop astonishing me. I’m still touched every day by earnestness of my little students and their easy way of showing affection. I’m still moved every time I hear someone’s harrowing story of fleeing their war-torn country. I’m still affected by the natural beauty of the land. It still puts a smile on my face when I walk around camp and see people of various ages unselfconsciously singing and dancing just because someone is playing music. And I don’t know if I’ll ever make sense of the disparity in my material comfort and that of the refugees I live with. But I’m thankful for all of that.